Permission Granted: To be who you are and let go of the rest!

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I am asking all of my future and current readers and followers, to drop the pretenses, trust yourself, choose vulnerability and release the guilt of meeting faulty expectations.

My loves, today we dig deep into affirming that you are enough.

You are enough!

I believe that… that you are enough, just as you are, just as you were made to be.

Let me be honest with you, sometimes I treat myself terribly and I relentlessly compare myself to other people.  No matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or lovable I am.

There is generally a lot of pressure to “stack up” in our culture. I know it is often said don’t dwell on others successes but we are human and we ask ourselves, all the why’s.

Sometimes in the midst of all the pressure, I seem to totally forget all the wonderful and unique things about myself.  Does this resonate? Well, if it does, keep reading this is for you.

“You’re more than enough!” We hear people say it all the time. But what does it take to truly begin to believe it? Do you ever have those days where you just feel that you aren’t enough?

The other night after a talk with my business coach/mentor was one of those cry too long about why you are not at point B yet in business. We had just had and amazing conversation I literally felt shift in energy and connections with making my thoughts reality. I felt great…..until I did the worst thing possible in that moment-jumped on the Internet. I scrolled and scrolled, and thought why can’t I be there in my business journey. Why can’t I look like this on every IGTV. Why do I fumble over my words the negative thoughts came in like a flood.

I woke up the next day and realized how much I had it wrong….

I had an amazing conversation, I was feeling awesome, and gained clarity that night. We laughed so hard and I was beyond in love with it all. In one fail swoop, a lie of NOT GOOD ENOUGH arrived and took the joy of that night with it.

I choose to give up an amazing night, to a simple statement. “I’m not good enough.”

The thing about this lie, is that it’s truly a lie. It’s one I believe on a daily basis but I have to remind myself who I am and who’s I am.

So, for all the times you felt that you weren’t good enough, pretty enough, funny enough, nice enough-below are some positive ways to prevent negative thinking. While my self-love journey will always be an ongoing process, here are a few things I try to remember when I’m tempted to be mean to myself:

1. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too.

We all compare ourselves to other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all do not.

When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding, rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. They are more like you than you think.

2. Your mind can be a very convincing liar.

I saw a quote once that read, “Don’t believe everything you think.” That quote completely altered the way I react when a cruel or discouraging thought goes through my mind. Thoughts are thoughts but it is a disservice to yourself and your growth to give them life     

3. There is more right with you than wrong with you.

This is powerful reminder for you and I.

As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too—like the fact that I am the people’s favorite DOPE therapist. The fact that I have fallen seven times, to get up ten. The fact that I am still here.

4. You have to fully accept and make peace with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with the “later.”

This was inspired by Vee, she allowed me to embrace and make peace with where I was in life. She reminded me that your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying when you truly are at peace. Enjoy every stop, start, and restart, its apart of your Story it’s why you are YOU.

5. Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have left to go.

Perfection is a farce. We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than, worthless, or stupid. I am here to tell you this, working on your goals, embracing new stages, challenges, and arenas, are accomplishments within themselves. Regardless of how many times we fail, getting back up is the best part. Trust me, you are going to fail again and that is OKAY.

Celebrate the Losses because they will provide the WINS in the future.     

6. Hating you cannot drive you into loving YOU.

Lastly, telling yourself hateful things about your failures will not help you become more successful.  Telling yourself you are unlovable, a failure, or worthless won’t build you up.  The only way to negate those hateful thoughts is by loving yourself, every flawed fiber of your being.  YOU are enough and when you remind yourself of this, the self-loved journey will get a little easier.

You deserve all that life has to offer, and your future is in your hands.

Be patient as you work towards, “I am enough.” Truly believing this in your heart, will take time and consistent practice.   When you trust the process and enjoy the marathon, with this self-love journey, your true authentic self will be unveiled.  Step out and say I am enough! Even though I am still working on my portfolio, I have to remind myself too, “I AM ENOUGH”. So, say it with your chest loves.


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Your Favorite Dope Therapist

Kalynn Jones